Observations on love, marriage, and motherhood
What I'm about to say will probably shock you. Sometimes, I do really stupid things. It's not like I do them on purpose, of course. Let's just call me clumsy. Both in the physical and the mental sense. For example, I'm terrible with directions. Last night, I looked up directions to Fort Harrison, where I…
Continue reading ➞ If you hang out with me long enough, I’ll show you my bra.
Bryan and I just returned to Indy after spending a fabulous long weekend in Atlanta, GA. As you know, Atlanta is one of my absolute favorite places, but Bryan had never been there before. I was so excited to show him around! The trip started with a teensy bit of drama when our hotel reservation…
Continue reading ➞ How to gain 12 pounds in one weekend: A step-by-step guide
To: Jillian, Media Buyer From: Coworker Date: July 31, 2012 Subject: How do you get your hair to poof in back like that? ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To: Jillian, Media Buyer From: Coworker Date: August 10, 2012 Subject: (no subject) I see you're wearing gold and silver today. Can you mix and match metals like that? I thought…
Continue reading ➞ Genuine curiosity. (Yes, these are real emails received from my male coworker.)
The other day, I was looking really good. No, like really good. Great hair, great outfit, great smile... I'm talkin' goooooood. So, where do you go when you're looking as good as I was? Broad Ripple, duh. I'm walking down the sidewalk, the sun shining, a pep in my step, hair blowing in the wind, smiling…
[Thursday morning. In the gym.] Kelsey (fitness trainer): "Jillian, are you participating in Bike to Work Day tomorrow?" Jillian: "Uhhh... NO. I haven't ridden my bike in months." Kelsey: "That's no excuse! You should start again." Jillian: "My bike probably has flat tires." Kelsey: "Borrow a bike from the gym. You know you can rent…
It’s not uncommon to hear sudden screams, shouts and obscenities ring through my office every now and then. In recent months, many of these have been attributed to one terrifying thing: A mouse. A mouse is in the house. Mouse house. It all started like this: A coworker of mine, who sits on the opposite side…
The other day, like most days, I went to the fitness center at work. (Cause I’m super fit and whatnot.) It was roughly 10AM, so there weren’t many people working out – exactly what I wanted. Other than myself, there was a girl running on a treadmill, a guy on a stationary bike, and another…
Favorite quote from Christmas: Dad: "You know, each year you look more and more like your grandmother." Me: "What?!" Dad: "No, no, just your body shape." Me: "Huh?!" Dad: "It's a compliment!" Me: [laughing hysterically] Dad: "Don't put that on Twitter!"
Coworker: "Where are you going?" Me: "To the fitness center. I have a weigh in this morning." Coworker: "A weigh in? For what?" Me: "I'm starting a weightlifting program with a personal trainer here, and I have to weigh in and discuss my goals with her before my first workout." Coworker: "You? Working out?" Me:…
Last night, I worked at the makeup store from 8-10 pm, restocking shelves after the arrival of a huge product shipment. I walked into the stockroom to find 200ish boxes of goodness: lipsticks, hair straighteners, perfumes in pretty atomizers, holiday gift sets, sparkly false lashes. I also found pizza, cookies, a good ol’ fashioned boom…
Jillian Wyatt 