Muskrat Sam

[Sunday morning, over an IHOP breakfast in Kokomo, Indiana]

Bryan’s dad, Delano: “Welp, I got my leg stuck in a muskrat hole.”

Jillian [choking on pancakes]: “What?!”

Delano: “I was walkin’ around the property the other day, cleanin’ some things out of the yard, and I stopped to use the facilities–”

Bryan’s stepmom, Cheryl: “–in the yard.”

Delano: “–and I stepped right into a muskrat hole. Fell all the way in above my knee. Thankful it was my good leg.”

Cheryl: “He was stuck!”

Delano: “At first, I didn’t know what to do. I mean to tell you I was stuck! I pulled and pulled but just kept sinking in further like quick sand. So, I stopped for a minute and thought, ‘Well, I guess I’ll just sit here until Cheryl comes home from work–'”

Cheryl: “Hours later!”

Delano: “–but then I thought, ‘Cheryl won’t be home til 4.’ So, I kept pulling and finally got my leg out.”

Jillian: “How’d you do it?”

Delano: “Just wiggled and wiggled. Of course, then my boot fell off in the hole, so I had to reach in and pull that out. Had to lay down on the ground and everything. Side of my face got all muddy.”

Cheryl: “I never know where I’m gonna find him when I get home! Remember the time you climbed up on the roof and the ladder fell down?”

Delano: “Haha, yep. I tried to move the extension ladder and the bottom half fell off and hit the ground. So there I was, on the roof, holdin’ half a ladder. I thought, ‘Well, I guess I’ll just sit up here til Cheryl gets home,’ but after a few minutes, a neighbor came walking by and he helped me down.”

Cheryl: “One day, I could get home and he’ll be on the roof, another day he’ll be stuck in a hole. The other day, I got home to find that he’d stapled his thumb to a basket he was weaving!”

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