700!

This is my 700th post! Wow. Are you still there?

To celebrate, in true Jillian style, I’d like to share yet another embarrassing story about myself. This one happened on Saturday.

Setting: Bryan’s step-sister’s bridal shower. I’m sitting in a nice restaurant at a table full of women, of whom I only know three. We’re lunching, and there’s a lull in conversation.

Bryan’s Step-Mom: “So, Jillian, when will we be having one of these showers for you? When will you be getting engaged?”

Jillian, eyes suddenly huge with nervous panic: “Umm, HAHA. I DON’T KNOW! I think you’re asking the wrong person!”

[Awkward silence, which probably only lasted for two seconds, but which felt like five minutes]

Jillian: “…Yep. If it were up to me, I’d get married tomorrow!”

[Still silent]

Jillian, yelling now: “…BUT YOU’LL HAVE TO ASK BRYAN ABOUT THAT!”

[Crickets]

Jillian: “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…HA…?”

Some random Aunt-or-someone: “Well, you’ll just have to do something to make him pop the question!”

[Ladies all laugh and nod]

Jillian: “Yeah…”

[Quiet again]

Jillian, who always word vomits when she feels awkward: “Well, I’ve been working on it.”

Don’t say it, Jillian! Don’t say it! They won’t think it’s funny!

Jillian, against her better judgement: “I mean, I’m currently trying to get pregnant without him knowing.”

[Record screech. The ladies stare, wide-eyed, mouths gaping.]

Jillian: “…Cause that’s what they do in movies. Haha? YOU KNOW?”

No. They didn’t know.

Frick.