If only Indiana would give you cash for empty cans like Michigan does.

A few weeks ago, I was at work, walking across campus from my building to another building, when a security guard pulled up alongside me in his car. Security guards are always around campus, as the office is located in a rough neighborhood, so I didn’t think much of it. Until he rolled down his window.

“Do you know when the holiday party is?” he asked me.

“Um, it’s on Friday,” I answered.

“Ok,” he said.

“Are you go–?”

Before I could finish my sentence, he rolled up his window and drove away.

Okayyy… I said to myself. Whatever.

I hadn’t thought about it much until yesterday, when an email was sent, informing us that we’re now required to wear our name badges around campus at all times. Apparently, the security guards have been mistaking a lot of employees for homeless people lately, and they’ve had to try to distinguish employees from wanderers by asking security questions.

Wait.

Homeless?

It all makes sense now.