The funny thing about living with roommates is that you begin to notice each other’s quirks pretty quickly. For example, I eat ice cream every night before bed. (Last night, I made myself a banana split with hot fudge and peanut butter gelato!) Coleman brushes his teeth for 15 minutes with his eyes closed. Joel walks around shirtless every morning until 2:00 pm.
He named it “Redneck Morning”.
Have I mentioned that I’m living in a frat house?
Anyway, a few days ago, picking up a laundry basket overflowing with clothes, I called, “Coleman? Are these whites clean?”
“What?” Coleman shouted from the other room. He looked up from his magazine. “Oh, no. They’re dirty.”
I grabbed a shirt from the top of the pile. “What’s on this shirt?” I asked. “Is that chocolate?”
He walked over to me. “Which shirt?” I held it up. “Yep, that’s chocolate. I was making chocolate milk.”
“I see,” I said. “Ok, well I’m going to wash these.” I headed down the stairs to the basement.
“Wait!” I heard Coleman shout as I started my descent. “Wash this, too!” He bounded toward me, taking off the white t-shirt he was wearing.
“What’s this blue splotch on the shoulder?” I asked, as he handed it to me.
“Go-Gurt,” he said.
“Go-Gurt? Since when do you eat Go-Gurt?”
“Since always. It’s good!” he exclaimed.
I rolled my eyes and threw the shirt in the basket. Just then, Joel rounded the corner. As usual, he was wearing only gym shorts. Seeing Coleman, also shirtless, he smiled wide. Coleman smiled back.
“REDNECK MORNING!” they cheered together.