I stood in my closet this morning staring at my shirts. What to wear to work today? I settled on my favorite white button up shirt. I mean, there’s nothing special about it, I’ve just had it for a long time, so it’s super soft and comfy.
Sure it’s starting to unravel in places, but if I just keep trimming the threads, no one will notice. Right? Yeah, it’s been washed one too many times and the fabric’s getting thin, but if I wear a nude bra, maybe no one will realize. Right?
I got dressed, drove to the office three buildings down, (who walks?), and went inside. I tossed my bag down on my desk and turned to talk to a coworker. I was right at the height of the story I was telling him, different voices and large arm motions and all, when
Rippppppppp!
I bent my elbow, tearing a giant hole in my sleeve. Crap. Naturally, I tried to play it off, but you know I didn’t fool anyone.
So, I drove back home (seriously, no one walks) and changed shirts. Right?
WRONG!
I just grabbed a suit jacket to wear over the ripped shirt.
No need to waste a perfectly good shirt. Right?
Totally professional.
Jillian Wyatt 
will you give me some advice on how to gracefully recover from the embarrassment of a pair of panties making their way out the pant leg of the pants I decided to wear twice without washing?
Or how to answer the question, “did you shower today?” (I can’t even type that without laughing, yes this happened to me yesterday.) “your hair is not as big as it normally is.”