An awkward conversation and the best sentence ever!

The other night, I went to the liquor store after work to get myself a bottle of wine. Coleman was working late, so I was looking forward to a night with some Pinot Noir and Dog the Bounty Hunter.

I grabbed my favorite wine and walked up to the counter. One of the cashiers, the one with the gauges in his ears, was busy helping a lady with wild-curly hair, so I walked up to the register that the guy with the knit cap was working.

Knit Cap: Hey.

Jillian: Hi!

Knit Cap: How are you tonight?

Jillian: Good. Here’s my ID.

Knit Cap: (Looks at ID. Compares it with the name on my credit card.) Thanks.

Jillian: How are you? Wait, did I already ask you that?

Knit Cap: No. I’m good.

Gauged Ears: Hey! How do you spell “Menage”?

Knit Cap: Huh?

Gauged Ears: “Menage”?

Jillian: As in “Menage a trois”?

Gauged Ears: Yep. Is it an “e” or an “a”?

Jillian: An “e”. M-e-n-a-g-e.

Knit Cap: (Looking at me) Menage a trois?

Jillian: Yeah–

Wild-Curly Hair: (To Gauged Ears) Ooh, don’t you feel stupid? That girl knows how to spell “menage” and you don’t!

Knit Cap: It’s $8.94.

Jillian: What’s $8.94? Oh, the wine.

Knit Cap: Yeah.

Gauged Ears: Are you sure it’s an “e” and not an “a”?

Jillian: Yeah. It’s an “e”.

(Knit Cap looks at me weird.)

Jillian: I know because I bought a bottle of Menage a Trois Pinot Grigio last night. I mean, that sounds bad–

Wild-Curly Hair: The Pinot is bad?

Jillian: No, it sounds bad. Because I bought it last night. And now I’m buying another bottle of wine tonight.

Wild-Curly Hair: Well, I don’t want it if it tastes bad.

Gauged Ears: It doesn’t taste bad.

Wild-Curly Hair: That girl just said so!

Jillian: No, I said it sounds bad.  But I didn’t buy it for me last night. It was for someone else.

Knit Cap: The menage was for someone else?

Jillian: Yeah. Well, not… It was a party.

Knit Cap: Ok, whatever. You’re all set.

Jillian: Thanks. Have a good day.

Knit Cap: Thanks.

Jillian: Whoops! I mean night. It’s dark outside, I guess.

Knit Cap: What?

Jillian: Nothing.

Gauged Ears: Thanks for the spelling.

Jillian: Huh?

Gauged Ears: I said thanks for the spelling. Menage?

Jillian: Oh yeah. You’re welcome.

Phew! That conversation was exhausting.


In other news, this is the best sentence ever:

“We have die pine tree in the back yard. Its free if you can cut it down and hail it away it but you to clean up your mess thank you”

One thought on “An awkward conversation and the best sentence ever!

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