So, remember how my company always has awards ceremonies every quarter? And remember how they always have a theme? And remember how they’re always straight out of an episode of The Office? And remember how no one else but me realizes that they’re straight from The Office? And remember how they usually involve costumes of some sort? And remember in the season finale of The Office a few months ago, when every branch of Dunder Mifflin got together for a volleyball tournament and field day of sorts, complete with a skit performed by Michael and Holly, the regional managers?
Welcome to my morning.
I awoke bright and early today, put on my costume, (I was a Pine tree, as determined by my boss. Don’t ask.), and met my coworkers at the office. When all of the employees from the other regional offices arrived, we ate breakfast burritos and watched a skit performed by our regional manager.
When the burritos were finished and all of the regional offices had stood and cheered and presented their “team theme costumes”, my team and I waving our tree branch-arms in the air, we filed out of the room and into a grassy courtyard outside…
…where we proceeded to play Field Day games…
…as residents whose apartments faced the courtyard stood on their balconies and watched.
I was chosen to participate in an obstacle course, during which I had to hopscotch, weave through bowling pins scattered around the lawn, crawl through a teeny-tiny child’s tent and jump through three hoola hoops. I got second place.
Finally, at the end, the regional manager and her assistant conversed and announced the winners of the “Team Theme-slash-Spirit Award”. It wasn’t my team. But it was ok, because the prize was a Mr. Potato Head doll with his tongue sticking out. His name was “Spirit Spud.”
I wish you could have been there.
[Enter The Office theme song here]