How I got invited to Ellen DeGeneres’ wedding and subsequently became her best friend

I had the best dream.

Ever.

I was in LA at a taping of the Ellen DeGeneres show (which I LOVE!) and, for some reason, Ellen called my name and asked me to come sit next to her. She interviewed me, and I was really on the ball–telling hilarious jokes, making funny faces and doing amazing dance moves.

Everyone was cracking up: Ellen, the audience, everyone.

I. was. hilarious!

So hilarious, that after the show, Ellen introduced me to Portia and invited me to their wedding. I got all dressed up, sat right next to the head table, oohed and aahed at the photo montage they played at the reception, and ate delicious Vegan food.

During the reception, while we were dancing, Ellen and Portia told me they were so happy they met me and they wanted me to be their best friend, because I was so funny.

And I was.

Too bad no one in real life laughs at my jokes.