1. I had an ultrasound on Monday. (No, still not pregnant.) The doctor was looking for ovarian cysts, so naturally, there was some pelvic observation involved. It was slightlyuncomfortable, so I tried to lighten the mood by making jokes with the middle-aged woman who was taking pictures of my ovaries and other private areas via ultrasound. “These pictures aren’t going to end up on the Internet now, are they?!” I asked, bracing myself for her to laugh hysterically. “No. They wouldn’t be that interesting,” the doctor replied matter-of-factly. Darn. Let’s try another. “Just let me know if you see a baby in there, eh?!” I quipped, trying to accent the joke by nudging her with my elbow, like they do in movies. “Nope. No baby,” she replied, as if I thought there actually was a baby.
2. Yesterday, I was at work, and this older woman came in to ask a question. She only had one eyebrow. She must have forgotten to pencil the other one on. Whoops!
3. Also, yesterday at work, this lady came in to pick up a package that had been delivered for her. I went to the package room to get it for her, and it was a really big box. “This is a really big box,” I said as I handed it to her, “but it’s not very heavy.” She took it from me and said, “Yep. It’s Pinocchio.” …… I looked at her, waiting for her to provide further explanation, but she didn’t. She just thanked me and left. What the?